Become a joy-spotter
Many people have asked me why I became interested in positive psychology and the answer is a simple one – I believe there are too many unnecessarily miserable people in the world. Some do have a reason to be miserable, some seem to bring it on themselves as a state of being. Either way, joy within their lives is at best a fleeting moment or at worst entirely absent. Mental health crises have, quite rightly, been treated with increasing focus and resources over the last few years (though still lagging behind physical health) but there is a big lack of focus on what can be achieved preventatively.
Many people feel that they should have a better job, a better partner, a better house… and then they would be happy. Or they should be thinner, master the latest 100 step programme to yoga-goddess status, or wait until their children stop being stroppy teenagers. Contentment is something that is in the future. Maybe, if they are lucky. That is the wrong way to approach joy. Joy is a habit. Joy comes from the sort of thoughts you cultivate every day. Joy is something that you can allow into your life right now, but you have to notice the wonderful parts of life, and be willing to sit with the difficult parts of life.
Life can be incredibly sad, lonely, cruel, grief-filled and desolate. Strategies and resources for those moments are listed here. The main thing is to be kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel those emotions but also realise they, like everything in life, are not stuck and going to hang around forever. Even if it feels like it will take an eternity. You will be able to glimpse sunnier days beyond those grey clouds. Conversely, many moments in life are filled with unbelievable happiness – times of celebration, of success and of feeling on top of the world. At those times it is easy to feel joyful. But the majority of life is full of normal days. Days you get up and make tea. Days you go to work. Days that merge into one another because there is nothing remarkable. Those are the days to become a joy-spotter.
Just like a bird spotter might discover a rare species, or a trainspotter might reach for a notebook with excitement at what is coming along the tracks, we can develop the skill to spot new chances to incorporate joy into our lives. I hate to break it to you, but joy owes you nothing. It will not come knocking on your door. You are not entitled to it, nor is it something automatic to us, like breathing or our heartbeat. But it can become a constant in your life. What do you need to change to let it in? Have a read of our list about how to be a human being not a human doing.
Spotting opportunities for joy can be connected to your thought processes, to habits of gratitude, to how you look after your body or nourish your soul. It can be about being courageous and seizing a chance for adventure, or finding contentment amongst the quiet same-ness of the everyday. But you have to make it a conscious commitment – become a joy-spotter!